In My Head

2008-05-04T16:03:00.000+04:30

We make the future, but we can not change the future.

2008-03-07T01:30:00.002+03:30

I was reading here after some months and I was thinking that .... these are not answers, there are questions; whatever that means ...

2007-11-27T09:04:00.001+03:30

There are certain songs that when I'm listening to them, I just can't help it but to imagine a crowd dancing to it, a huge crowd.

2007-11-27T09:03:00.001+03:30

"He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us"

2007-11-27T09:01:00.000+03:30

To those who know what they want
To those who know who they are

Death

2007-11-16T23:52:00.000+03:30

Confess that you are a weak creature, that you don't know where you have come from and where you lead. Confess that you don't know what happens when you die, that you don't even know if it is a bad thing. Heaven and hell my ass, that's just an imagination. One that suits your greedy soul, a soul that wants answers, right now; the one who needs prophets.

When you love someone and you lose him/her, you feel sad; you are feeling sad for yourself.

2007-11-16T23:51:00.000+03:30

This house belongs to me after certain hours.
I thought you knew it.

2007-10-26T02:24:00.000+03:30

Some produce the symbols, as images of the reality in another world. The others, incapable of seeing it like the way it meant to be, get it too serious and there are unexpected consequences, in the opposite direction. Ignorance is not only a bliss, it can become a philosophy.

2007-10-26T02:22:00.001+03:30

Only when you don't intend to change people, is when you can get to know them.

2007-10-26T02:21:00.001+03:30

She saw that I could become, and then she made me.

2007-10-26T02:18:00.000+03:30

I'll do it all over again, if that's what it takes.

2007-10-08T15:32:00.000+03:30

A professional lover or a selfish motherfucker?

2007-09-23T20:06:00.000+03:30

Running to .... or running from?

2007-09-17T19:11:00.000+03:30

To all the things I have not finished.

2007-09-17T19:10:00.000+03:30

Alone, but not lonely

2007-08-27T20:41:00.000+03:30

Try like you gonna live forever, depend like you gonna die tomorrow.

2007-08-23T18:41:00.000+03:30

Trust your fucking senses man!

2007-08-07T20:14:00.000+03:30

Wanting what I like badly, just like a child. I wish my mother could do something, like she used to do.

Numb

2007-07-29T19:48:00.000+03:30

Even I don't feel it, I just see the consequences.

2007-07-29T19:43:00.000+03:30

When the sky turns to black, little demons leave their hidings. They lead you to dangerous games your mind has created through time. You just have never dared to play them. The little demons smell like revenge.
Make your chioce, pay the price, alone.

2007-07-22T18:10:00.000+03:30

The forces of darkness rule the scene. You, holding the platform, are unable to affect the game. You have been hit by something you had not been prepared for ... you have no hope.
When darkness prevails, there's a price you have to pay; your beliefs, values, senses, wisdom, ego, confidence, love ....
You have got to make a choice, pay the price.

2007-07-14T06:46:00.000+03:30

SHHHHHHHHH
Be quiet, my baby is sleeping
No no no, please don't wake him up, I don't want him to see this.

2007-06-16T23:33:00.000+03:30

High speed meditation

2007-06-16T23:17:00.000+03:30

- You're a man of science
- And what does that make you John?
- I'm a man of faith
---------------------------------------------------------------------
- So how did you find it?
- I stopped looking

2007-05-13T00:40:00.000+03:30

Be aware of the paradoxes in people's minds, mislead them and surprise them, make them think they were wrong about you, make them believe you.

2007-05-13T00:34:00.000+03:30

Traveling through time has to be based on concentration. With conscious concentration, we can slow down the time; another levels need to be activated to stop it.

2007-04-18T00:42:00.000+03:30

She is so admirable to him that he would prefer to look at her, observe and enjoy; that's why he loves her.
But she offers a lot more, that's what she wants for him; that's why he needs her.

2007-04-08T23:01:00.000+03:30

There was a time, not so long ago, that I could say I don't belong.

2007-04-08T22:59:00.000+03:30

Trends...

2007-03-16T01:20:00.000+03:30

It will become a school, where you are the teacher ... but you are not here for that.

2007-03-16T01:12:00.000+03:30

The reason that I am.

2007-03-12T23:39:00.001+03:30

Becoming...

2007-03-12T23:28:00.000+03:30

Falling in love all over again with you, like entering a new level.
The trick is to keep breathing, breathe with me.

2007-01-21T00:27:00.000+03:30

I never thought that I would become a disappointment for somebody, that can not be a good feeling.

2007-01-12T13:03:00.000+03:30

EXTREMES ... Extreme emotional experiences ... Mystical ... Depending on what you want, what you have prepared yourself for ... If you can put yourself in a state of disposal ... It's for your own good.

2007-01-01T16:52:00.000+03:30

... Thinking about the quality ...

Tricky

2006-12-25T00:34:00.000+03:30

You don't ask for answers ... you produce the answers
A place where faith is the main motivation
You can have whatever you want
Just be careful what you want.

2006-12-25T00:32:00.000+03:30

Doubt ... Cautiousness
Obsession ... Attention

2006-12-20T23:34:00.001+03:30

From another planet

2006-12-20T23:24:00.000+03:30

It is actually an old piece which were not posted at the time of its creation due to security reasons:

Now the fucking world led me to test love,
I thought ok, what if I do whatever you do
not a full war... just a bit of being unreasonable
a touch of disrespect with a taste of indifference.
It's me here want to cry for what I'm doing to love
but I just want to make sure what is going on, this is where I have always surrendered
Where I have decided that I don't wanna know and I don't want to have it.
What looks like a man with a plan, is a man with a thousand doubts.
And god, she is on the side of those with patience.

2006-11-27T22:31:00.000+03:30

We can't stop the rain, let's find a place by the fire.

2006-11-27T22:29:00.000+03:30

High and low and everything in between.

2006-11-07T21:07:00.000+03:30

I see no light, but I know there is light.

2006-08-22T17:14:00.000+03:30

Creation

2006-08-22T17:12:00.000+03:30

Confused People

2006-08-01T00:51:00.000+03:30

Playing to win, not interested in the rewards.

2006-08-01T00:43:00.000+03:30

I want to be naked

2006-07-25T08:46:00.000+03:30

I write here periodically and once in a while it has a pick. You can not imagine how much these periods represent different phases of my life especially emotional changes that I go through.

2006-07-25T08:39:00.000+03:30

There are realities that you would wish they were jokes ... This I think is familiar and happens to everybody, but there are jokes which you wish they were real ... And there's nothing fun about it.

Progression

2006-07-23T20:23:00.000+03:30

First the speed: well it can have a range, a wide range. Just not too fast and not too slow.
Then you should add something in it to keep you moving, let's call it the Groove.
Then it goes on and on and repeat itself .... No progression can last forever, but it gives you the feeling of eternity.
I always thought that there is something, another concept behind this repetition. A concept that makes it so enjoyable and yes .... It makes you feel eternal ... It makes you eternal but for a short period. If everything goes well that short period will be erased fr ...

Morality

2006-07-22T13:00:00.000+03:30

Following the situation in Lebanon and Palestine I realized that there is a little morality in the way I see the world. It's not that unexpected as all I read and think is politics. It's a horrible world where a lot of forces are fighting only for survival, no morality can be expected. A polarized world where everything is black and white.
After all I have no motive to inject a bit of morality in the way I see the politics of the world. It is an all-out fight to get more or to keep what you have. The way I see, it's a violent game which I follow and it's interesting as long as I don't care. I don't care as long as I'm sure I can't affect.

2006-07-22T12:54:00.000+03:30

I'm getting fat and it has happened very fast. I think I'm in a moment in life that I have to choose to either become a fat ugly man or a thin guy who eats less and does some exercise once in a while. As they say it can become an opportunity or a threat.

2006-07-13T21:12:00.000+03:30

Oh my goddes!!

2006-07-13T21:10:00.000+03:30

The music of Anger, Resistance and Objection.

2006-06-13T18:46:00.000+03:30

When things start to go wrong
Completely against your feelings
Totally not what you wanted to happen
You lose control
You don't know why and you think you can not do anything to fix it.
You start to doubt everything... Love, honesty, friendship, yourself and ... .
It's hard to keep the balance between pleasing who love and pleasing yourself,
It's hard to decide when you should defend yourself and when keep quiet.
You think you had to do it, you think enough is enough.
Intelligence is not to know, is how to handle what you know,
When I forgot how to defend myself with silence,
When I forgot relationships are about sacrifice.
When talk is cheap.

2006-06-04T13:49:00.000+03:30

Artists of the world have performed - and still are performing the vocals through all possibilities of tone, intonation and strength. One of the major weaknesses of Persian singers was sticking to the standards that were accepted by the public; they didn't dare to discover new ways. I have the feeling that it is changing although they are at the beginning.

2006-05-28T20:36:00.000+03:30

It is definitely a lot more difficult for those who know.

2006-05-23T18:46:00.000+03:30

This lovely man-made creation, headphone. I really enjoy listening to music by earphones. When I do that walking home from work in Zafar and Jordan and especially when I listen to something psychedelic, it's like watching a clip, sometimes it's like playing in a clip; the clip of your favorite song.

2006-04-17T19:27:00.000+03:30

Nothing lasts ...... But nothing is lost.

2006-03-22T22:17:00.000+03:30

I'd like to live forever. But only for a little while.

2005-12-11T11:39:00.000+03:30

Marking Territories.

2005-12-11T02:40:00.000+03:30

Words of hatred won't last for long, maybe a couple of hours.

2005-12-11T02:36:00.000+03:30

I saw some creatures tonight,
They were miserable but they could spread the disease.

Words of Hatred

2005-12-11T02:26:00.000+03:30

I was used and abused
But they all became slaves to the new dimensions they saw;
... If they only could see
beyond their narrow imaginations.

2005-12-10T02:03:00.000+03:30

A philosopher is someone who takes thinking serious.

2005-12-10T02:00:00.000+03:30

There are new faces ... ... .. .. . . . In my life.

2005-10-29T14:44:00.000+03:30

And only a few will become leaders. I'm not one. Usually one would be able to spread a vibe when he has a well-accepted style or way of thinking and have a will to promote it.. Public look for something like that, they need somebody to assure them, they don't know how to live with doubt.
That's not me, I believe everything is possible. I believe there is a unique way, in a sense, a unique "truth", for everybody. In my world one promote an idea by actions, by becoming an idea. I live in doubt because I see a predictable life too boring to live.
Being a leader is sexy, I admit, but It is a skill out of my capabilities.
I know it's not totally clear ... I'm saying that I'm not comfortable talking about my ideas.

2005-10-25T13:08:00.000+03:30

I have sold my soul to a bunch of songs
I have used my body to test some ideas.

For The Record

2005-10-25T12:46:00.000+03:30

I've been around, it's been fine and fun. No post with no reason. Well, sometimes I wonder if writing is only a way to free myself of anger, sadness, etc. And I should say it's not. Here I'm writing and I'm not being forced any kind of extreme emotion, just for the record, just for the word.
during this time a lot has happened, this is what I remember:
- I went to Jordan for 3rd time this year.
- I went to Jordan through Bahrain, so I visited the 3rd country of Middle East including United Arab Emirates. I have a lot to say about the visits, cultures and life styles. I really believe I should visit a European country as soon as possible.
- I did an ACID in Masooleh. It's a fantastic place north of Iran.
- I have a new boss, the interesting part is that he is an Afghan guy. So far we have gotten along pretty well.
- I joined a Network Marketing Company called Quest International.
- A very good friend of mine, living in Germany, visited Iran.
- I'm going to a Digital Photography class.
- Together with my cousin, we're going to French sessions.
- I participated in the entrance exam for Social Science in a remote university (is this the right word?)
- I'm in an exciting relationship, a unique experiment.

2005-08-10T15:12:00.000+04:30

All is love,
All is lust.

2005-07-19T12:43:00.000+04:30

In the name of jealousy love was born,
This sick love,
We miserable creatures.

2005-07-17T17:04:00.000+04:30

Keep your doubts while you listen to them theorizing hope.

2005-07-17T11:09:00.000+04:30

I thought of this a couple of days ago:
conscious is you and me, that miserable struggling part of a human being. Unconscious is that confident part which knows everything about us, what happens to conscious has been decided for and planned in unconscious before, the good news is that what we do in conscious now will affect the unconscious (Depending on how we do it). That's why that struggle is precious, it is the meaning of life, that's why those who do it should be proud, I hail those who live.
I will explain more.

2005-07-17T11:03:00.000+04:30

When I love someone and she suffers of something I definitely suffer, but it's killing me when I don't know why she suffers. That's interesting. I think I'm functioning right, just like a human being.

2005-06-25T09:29:00.000+04:30

... And it is happening.

2005-06-23T20:06:00.000+04:30

I hope Rafsanjani has his own fucking ways to gain votes because I feel a kind of inaction in people. We are strange people and these are strange days. I would say having Ahmadinejad as winner announced Saturday noon, is definitely a possibility. Saturday afternoon we're going to face a fact. A fact about Iranians, it's better to know than not to.

The Game

2005-06-23T19:44:00.000+04:30

Your Game
- I don't play your game.
- I play your game. I play it better than you, I win over you but if there is a prize, it's yours.

My Game
- I don't think you're understanding my game.
- I don't let you play my game.
- I don't let you play my game but you can watch.
- Let's play my game. From the moment you start you're the winner, I also win, because I play it with you.

Sorry I forgot to ask you, do you believe that life is a game?

2005-06-21T23:33:00.000+04:30

What if it is a set up? What if it is all a plan to make us vote on Friday? What if we are going to do something we don't see its behinds?
.... Paranoia .... My world just does not work like that. I'm not going to sit and make up stories when the truth is as clear as that. I'm not going to watch it happens, whatever it is. Yes it smells suspicious but I'm not gonna decide on that.
Our generation's political life mainly started with voting for Khatami, a beautiful election. It was obvious who to vote for. We left it all when it became ugly, we didn't want to vote for those we didn't love, those not as perfect as our ideal president should have been. Without even thinking about the alternative we left it for the others to deal with.
Some didn't want to vote for Moeen because he couldn't talk beautiful, yes he didn't have the charisma. Logic or a calculation can't make us move but charisma can. It takes rebels to live in this world. A rebel is not only who fights with a kalashnikov, a rebel can be a normal person living a normal life in this big town. We can be rebels, it takes courage.
It is a hectic situation, like all moments in life, it can be a chance to win or to go down, it's us who decide. We can improvise excuses, we can say it's a set up, we can be silent and pass by or we can make it a test of democracy, a lesson and a trust in what we see not in conspiracy theories based on nothing.

2005-06-06T22:32:00.000+04:30

Time for politics.

Our Old Multiple Personality Disorder Confusion

2005-06-06T22:23:00.000+04:30

Step by step I discovered myself, my needs, what I do and what I don't wanna do, in what circumstances I will be forced/pushed to do something. What happened is that I use this information, or it's more honest to say I misuse this information to deal with myself and try to make no problem when I live. There are definitely more than 1 person in me (2 or maybe more) but I can not really recognize the borders.

Reality Sucks

2005-05-31T12:09:00.000+04:30

Human being is designed to be miserable. Social life is like that. There is no way to get out of this misery but misusing other's or your own misery. Misery loves company. But life still can be fun, cause we forget, we get busy with other stuff and we have the ability not to think about disappointments and I want to go to Dubai and by an ipod, who gives a fuck about reality.

Acid Lessons

2005-05-28T14:06:00.000+04:30

- Nature is full of patterns, you may say nature is patterns. It is funny how we ignore nature, these colors, structures and logic.
- every moment has its own spirit. Trying to find a known feeling in a new moment is loosing "NOW". It again goes back to the concept of PROGRESSION.

2005-05-28T14:03:00.000+04:30

Human being is THE lonely creature in this world.

2005-05-26T14:26:00.000+04:30

Doing Acid is to know more about yourself not about the acid.

2005-05-26T12:54:00.000+04:30

Finally on ACID, in fact some days ago, on May 20.
It was good, well it was not a powerful one but it was enough. I'm sure this is the only thing I would take from now on. No amphetamine anymore, not that I was into anything so deep but I'm getting more concerned about what I do and how I spend my time. Acid was clean, deep, new and fun.

2005-05-19T12:18:00.000+04:30

I don't belong to groups, I belong to bilateral relationships. Groups are about interests but you may save relationships from falling to that.
.... or every relationship is about interests, somewhere it is about having somebody to borrow money from or go out with, in some cases it's about having somebody to talk to.

2005-05-16T22:37:00.000+04:30

Don't ever doubt it, somethings should not be put into words, words are from our world, thoughts are from another.

2005-05-16T22:33:00.000+04:30

We are being the target of a lot of well designed propaganda everyday. That makes it hard to find the way, we need to have our own propaganda. My weblog is the propaganda I think I need.

2005-05-16T22:26:00.000+04:30

Wake up dreamer,
It's happening without you.

2005-05-12T10:47:00.000+04:30

"What is about it that people think it's so evil .... Because they're afraid that there is more to reality than what they have confronted, because there are doors that they are afraid to go in, and they don't want us to go in .. Because if we go in we might learn something that they don't know .. and that make us a little out of control."

2005-05-10T16:17:00.000+04:30

A rebel.

2005-05-10T11:31:00.000+04:30

I have realized that my profession is to know and to see and to hear, not to do or to speak. I know it's a lazy approach.

2005-05-08T12:31:00.000+04:30

I let my unconscious function, then I look at the result as a fact, I theorize it, then I test it. Some of these theories have been there for a long time and I have no fixed answer yet.

2005-05-07T11:21:00.000+04:30

It is fun to live as long as it is possible to look back at your past with the knowledge of today and think ... Well, you first should be able to do that.

2005-04-28T13:30:00.000+04:30

Days go by, people come and go and things happen and still this word crashes to my mind sometimes "progression". That's the key.

2005-02-24T09:02:00.000+03:30

Poor Grany died this morning.

2005-02-24T09:01:00.000+03:30

We were born to lose, even what we win.

2005-02-24T09:00:00.000+03:30

"God bless Freddy Mercury"

2005-02-14T02:46:00.001+03:30

There is always a higher level of undersdtanding and a more developed level of misunderstanding.

2005-02-14T02:46:00.000+03:30

I feel a big change in behavoiur and strategies rising up in myself. It is of course a Back to Basics with a more confident interpretation.