Marking Territories.

Words of hatred won't last for long, maybe a couple of hours.

I saw some creatures tonight,
They were miserable but they could spread the disease.

Words of Hatred

I was used and abused
But they all became slaves to the new dimensions they saw;
... If they only could see
beyond their narrow imaginations.

A philosopher is someone who takes thinking serious.

There are new faces ... ... .. .. . . . In my life.

And only a few will become leaders. I'm not one. Usually one would be able to spread a vibe when he has a well-accepted style or way of thinking and have a will to promote it.. Public look for something like that, they need somebody to assure them, they don't know how to live with doubt.
That's not me, I believe everything is possible. I believe there is a unique way, in a sense, a unique "truth", for everybody. In my world one promote an idea by actions, by becoming an idea. I live in doubt because I see a predictable life too boring to live.
Being a leader is sexy, I admit, but It is a skill out of my capabilities.
I know it's not totally clear ... I'm saying that I'm not comfortable talking about my ideas.

I have sold my soul to a bunch of songs
I have used my body to test some ideas.

For The Record

I've been around, it's been fine and fun. No post with no reason. Well, sometimes I wonder if writing is only a way to free myself of anger, sadness, etc. And I should say it's not. Here I'm writing and I'm not being forced any kind of extreme emotion, just for the record, just for the word.
during this time a lot has happened, this is what I remember:
- I went to Jordan for 3rd time this year.
- I went to Jordan through Bahrain, so I visited the 3rd country of Middle East including United Arab Emirates. I have a lot to say about the visits, cultures and life styles. I really believe I should visit a European country as soon as possible.
- I did an ACID in Masooleh. It's a fantastic place north of Iran.
- I have a new boss, the interesting part is that he is an Afghan guy. So far we have gotten along pretty well.
- I joined a Network Marketing Company called Quest International.
- A very good friend of mine, living in Germany, visited Iran.
- I'm going to a Digital Photography class.
- Together with my cousin, we're going to French sessions.
- I participated in the entrance exam for Social Science in a remote university (is this the right word?)
- I'm in an exciting relationship, a unique experiment.

All is love,
All is lust.

In the name of jealousy love was born,
This sick love,
We miserable creatures.

Keep your doubts while you listen to them theorizing hope.

I thought of this a couple of days ago:
conscious is you and me, that miserable struggling part of a human being. Unconscious is that confident part which knows everything about us, what happens to conscious has been decided for and planned in unconscious before, the good news is that what we do in conscious now will affect the unconscious (Depending on how we do it). That's why that struggle is precious, it is the meaning of life, that's why those who do it should be proud, I hail those who live.
I will explain more.

When I love someone and she suffers of something I definitely suffer, but it's killing me when I don't know why she suffers. That's interesting. I think I'm functioning right, just like a human being.

... And it is happening.

I hope Rafsanjani has his own fucking ways to gain votes because I feel a kind of inaction in people. We are strange people and these are strange days. I would say having Ahmadinejad as winner announced Saturday noon, is definitely a possibility. Saturday afternoon we're going to face a fact. A fact about Iranians, it's better to know than not to.

The Game

Your Game
- I don't play your game.
- I play your game. I play it better than you, I win over you but if there is a prize, it's yours.

My Game
- I don't think you're understanding my game.
- I don't let you play my game.
- I don't let you play my game but you can watch.
- Let's play my game. From the moment you start you're the winner, I also win, because I play it with you.

Sorry I forgot to ask you, do you believe that life is a game?

What if it is a set up? What if it is all a plan to make us vote on Friday? What if we are going to do something we don't see its behinds?
.... Paranoia .... My world just does not work like that. I'm not going to sit and make up stories when the truth is as clear as that. I'm not going to watch it happens, whatever it is. Yes it smells suspicious but I'm not gonna decide on that.
Our generation's political life mainly started with voting for Khatami, a beautiful election. It was obvious who to vote for. We left it all when it became ugly, we didn't want to vote for those we didn't love, those not as perfect as our ideal president should have been. Without even thinking about the alternative we left it for the others to deal with.
Some didn't want to vote for Moeen because he couldn't talk beautiful, yes he didn't have the charisma. Logic or a calculation can't make us move but charisma can. It takes rebels to live in this world. A rebel is not only who fights with a kalashnikov, a rebel can be a normal person living a normal life in this big town. We can be rebels, it takes courage.
It is a hectic situation, like all moments in life, it can be a chance to win or to go down, it's us who decide. We can improvise excuses, we can say it's a set up, we can be silent and pass by or we can make it a test of democracy, a lesson and a trust in what we see not in conspiracy theories based on nothing.

Time for politics.

Our Old Multiple Personality Disorder Confusion

Step by step I discovered myself, my needs, what I do and what I don't wanna do, in what circumstances I will be forced/pushed to do something. What happened is that I use this information, or it's more honest to say I misuse this information to deal with myself and try to make no problem when I live. There are definitely more than 1 person in me (2 or maybe more) but I can not really recognize the borders.

Reality Sucks

Human being is designed to be miserable. Social life is like that. There is no way to get out of this misery but misusing other's or your own misery. Misery loves company. But life still can be fun, cause we forget, we get busy with other stuff and we have the ability not to think about disappointments and I want to go to Dubai and by an ipod, who gives a fuck about reality.

Acid Lessons

- Nature is full of patterns, you may say nature is patterns. It is funny how we ignore nature, these colors, structures and logic.
- every moment has its own spirit. Trying to find a known feeling in a new moment is loosing "NOW". It again goes back to the concept of PROGRESSION.

Human being is THE lonely creature in this world.

Doing Acid is to know more about yourself not about the acid.

Finally on ACID, in fact some days ago, on May 20.
It was good, well it was not a powerful one but it was enough. I'm sure this is the only thing I would take from now on. No amphetamine anymore, not that I was into anything so deep but I'm getting more concerned about what I do and how I spend my time. Acid was clean, deep, new and fun.

I don't belong to groups, I belong to bilateral relationships. Groups are about interests but you may save relationships from falling to that.
.... or every relationship is about interests, somewhere it is about having somebody to borrow money from or go out with, in some cases it's about having somebody to talk to.

Don't ever doubt it, somethings should not be put into words, words are from our world, thoughts are from another.

We are being the target of a lot of well designed propaganda everyday. That makes it hard to find the way, we need to have our own propaganda. My weblog is the propaganda I think I need.

Wake up dreamer,
It's happening without you.

"What is about it that people think it's so evil .... Because they're afraid that there is more to reality than what they have confronted, because there are doors that they are afraid to go in, and they don't want us to go in .. Because if we go in we might learn something that they don't know .. and that make us a little out of control."

A rebel.

I have realized that my profession is to know and to see and to hear, not to do or to speak. I know it's a lazy approach.

I let my unconscious function, then I look at the result as a fact, I theorize it, then I test it. Some of these theories have been there for a long time and I have no fixed answer yet.

It is fun to live as long as it is possible to look back at your past with the knowledge of today and think ... Well, you first should be able to do that.

Days go by, people come and go and things happen and still this word crashes to my mind sometimes "progression". That's the key.

Poor Grany died this morning.

We were born to lose, even what we win.

"God bless Freddy Mercury"

There is always a higher level of undersdtanding and a more developed level of misunderstanding.

I feel a big change in behavoiur and strategies rising up in myself. It is of course a Back to Basics with a more confident interpretation.

Sometimes we just forget who we are, where we stand and what should we do to reach our goals. It's all about spending 10 JDs, means something like 14000 Tomans drinking beer. I don't know why I can't just forget it for a couple of days, maybe it has to be remembered.

Petra

It's is midnight, end of the second day of ICRC Integration course in Petra, Jordan. It's fun, people are from 14 countries of Middle East and Balkans and north Africa. It's a great hotel called Marriot, Mojgan & I got close with the guys from Kosovo & Belgrade.

You can posses minds, hearts or bodies. You can hardly posses two of them at the same time, three of them would happen once in a lifetime. By possessing I mean something that if you let go it will come back.

I don't want to have, I just want to try.

For all of us waiting, our kingdom will come.

I use Parsonline ISP Co. Connecting to internet. Yesterday I couldn't open any blog in Blogspot, today I have no problem with blogspot but I can't open Orkut, Allmusic, Photosig and a lot of other sites and I can not imagine why - even some websites with only written data about music. I hope it is a bug in their proxy otherwise some people are doing some foolish things. Unfortunately there are still stupid men in power who only think about banning stuff but I wouldn't expect them to take away even the minimums.