Marijuana

It teaches me how to think, is it?
At least it teaches me how to doubt.

Let's put a new meaning to what has been done a million times,
It's a change and it's not,
It's back to basics.

Let's win the most complicated conquest,
Let's ease it up a little for ourselves,
Let's back to basics.

My Pictures

Some of my pictures are on the air, It's a website which present a collection of 7 pictures every couple of days. You can reach it here. My pictures are in gallery No.14 .

Psychedelic Trance

Master of it all. The dream itself. The highest anyone has ever reached. Far far beyond.
Dance music has never been so intelligent, so creative and so confident.
Basslines are deep with an extended range of speed. Samples are as psychedelic as they can be. Melodies can be stand out and leading but some make them minimalistic. The genre can support any party because it can carry different emotions. It is too close to progressive trance and house, actually many of the greatest progressive tracks are taken from psy works.
Psy artists are populated in mostly two specific regions of the world, one is Israel which is the source and the second place is the Scandinavian countries. Some of the main artists are: Astral Projection, MFG, Alien Project, Yahel, Talamasca, Cosma, Logic Bomb, Ticon, Son Kite, Psysex, Cosmosis, SUN Project, Shakta, Shpongle & ... .
I give you some very useful links about psyhedelic trance, you can click and know all you want: Psychedelic Mind Expander, Psychedelic Trance Goa Music Reviews & Israeli Trance.

Completion: Even a master can get kicked by a classic, I'll let you know what are them, but just in my head, anyone can have his/her own favorite genres.

Loosing all hope is freedom.

                          Not Mine

Once in a while I come up with theories about myself & about the reasons why I do stuff.
A while ago I thought everything I do & every thought in my head is derived from a big laziness in my unconscious. But after I focused on my behavior I saw that in some occasions I act very active. It was the time I discovered another powerful inner force, wanting to be different

I think I found out why I don't write, because it's only you in my mind & I don't wanna write about you, not yet.

It’s like love, some people get it
for some it’s just a glove that just never fitted
for me it’s just a pain in the ass
but i’m addicted to the taste of hopin’ it could last
                                                Limp Bizkit

I ask forgiveness, from all of those who I thought were week.
But it doesn't make them right, it makes me stronger,
cause I'm not like them, I'm just in the same situation.
I should confess it's hard. It's a strong temptation, but I'll find a way, a clean way. I have to, I should not become what I have hated all my life and I can. Policy of truth is the only way out.

It's fun falling in love, if you don't think about the reasons.
There are reasons, but it's more fun not knowing them.

It is repeating over and over, you can have lots of chances,
as many as you want, if you want.

You are me, just a few years later.

Memories are with you until you're with them,
You are with memories until you need them.

This is exactly as you wanted,
This is exactly as you wished for,
be careful what you wish for.

I have too personalities, one is with me as fall (autumn) starts until the second half of spring, the other one is there rest of the year.

Some people use comment ereas for introducing their weblogs to others. They choose a famous weblog and put a comment there with sentences exactly like this, "come and see my weblog http://blah blah". Damn it man! this is somebody's comment area, you suppose to say your idea about the stuff he/she writes.

Too much of it.

I can't write anything.

Fear of deciding. Running away from it all my life, I let my unconscious and nature decide for me. But I think I'm reaching the end of the line, Here comes decisiouns I do not dare to put aside & I should do my best in them.

Negative Realistic End of The Line

There is no right, There is no wrong, There are interests, There are habits, There are lots of misunderstandings and fear of the unknown.

Paul Oakenfold is definitely the best progressive trance and house DJ in the world. He's been officially DJing over a decade. There's a spirit in his works, songs he choose, the way he mix them, the place he choose for each song shows a talent. He composed an album too, he also write some songs for Swordfish soundtrack (There's a big difference between a composer and a DJ, a composer writes the song and may play some instruments but a DJ put other people songs' into a mix CD, choosing the right songs and the way these tracks go through each other is what a DJ should be good at). He knows what people like, he defines how people should dance.

More to come, yet to become.

I found a cool site. It's Persian site about photography, one of my major hobbies. It's here. Thanks to Aab.

I'm in love with a lot of people, a lot of stuff, a lot of places, a lot of memories, a lot of ...

Anything you say will be saved and used against you in the perfect time.

Suddenly the world stops, Sounds echo through my ears and fade away, I'm fixed in my place and I don't move, I stare at something but I do not see what's in front of me, I don't have any idea what's going on around me because I'm not here.
It's Gone now. It was just a flashback, one of the greatest feelings in the world.

We're not here because we're free, We're here because we're not free.
                                                               Matrix Reloded

Addiction

There are two kinds of addiction, mental & physical. Some stuff cause both kinds of addiction, like morphine which is in opium & heroin and amphetamines like ecstasy & Ice (metaphetamine). Some stuff cause only mental addiction like nicotine, marijuana, hashish, LSD, love, sex, money, chocolate, work & etc.

Hypocrisy

I do not tolerate anything that shows my real weaknesses. I do not like other people see my real confusions. Anything I introduce as my problems are the ones I solved before, the ones I have control on. That's why I deleted those posts.

Some of you may have noticed that I deleted two posts. I even wrote a third part for the topic but it was nothing but confusion. I may bring it up later when I make up my mind about it.

Back To Business

I was on a trip up north of Iran and it took me couple of days to put my shit together after I returned to Tehran and I'm back. I can't believe I have e-mails telling me to keep writing, it felt really good & I'm telling you, keep coming here cause I won't give up writing.

What if a cow could understand? when you look at bunch of cows to choose one to kill. when you touch different part of its body to see if it's a good one. When you choose it among all the others. When you change your mind, do they know? When you put it in a van to bring it to the place. When you take the knife and walk towards it. When you take the neck in your hand & others are watching.
Relax! Cows don't think.
But it still is a slaughter & I still don't know what to think about it. Damn it's hard becoming a civilized human being.

When I smile, not because I'm pleased, because I think it means nothing, I think there's nothing to care about and nothing to lose, it tastes bitter. I enjoy it. I can relax, feel free, no pressure at all. Then I start over, without judging, without anger, it's my way.

Anything that reach its purpose has died a long time ago. Targets change along the way, you suffer a lot thinking why you can't reach them, you suffer more believing you have reached one. when you accept this never-ending suffering it turns to joy. Enjoy your suffering.

I promise you all, by this time next year there will be no "Islamic Republic" of Iran.

When love hurts, it won't work.

The hell with the answers, We need good questions.

It may seem ridiculous but I'd like to put some of Avril Lavigne's lyrics here. Not just because they bring some good memories but because they're exactly from the heart. They're easy, simple and I felt they're real. It's fun listening to a seventeen (now eighteen) year-old punk girl sing stuff like that.

YooHooooooooooooooo

Madonna's Bitches. Look how she stands when she kisses these two kids. I have always been a big fan of Madonna.

It's not that bad, I know it myself. I got a raise at work the exact time I was thinking I deserve it. My summer exam is over & I will pass and lots of other good stuff. Maybe I should go and see some friends.

As I'm not in the mood for writing, they're arresting an Iranian in London, one of those bastards you can tell he is a killer only by seeing his face. As I'm not in the mood many important is happening to Iran and I'm too tired to care. As I see it there is only one future and it will come, all this is a killing delay and we can do nothing about it. At least I can wait for parliament election to not vote, how active is that?

Try To Create A meaning

You know what's hard? Trying to build your own rules and regulations in your life. Acting on the basis you believe is right.
You know what's fun? Believing it's the only way your life is going to have a meaning.
You know what's harder? Becoming 24 and each person you think would find her way in your rules disappointed you.
you know what's more fun? seeing other people doing it after all.
The problem: Doubt
The relief: Writing all this.
Self reminder: Maybe you havn't become those rules and believes.
[Narrator who sounds like god]Good point son.

Writing & Believing

Not everything I write here is my belief. Like this sentence from Matrix I wrote in the previous post. I don't believe it's true, as a matter of fact I believe it's wrong. But it's a beautiful sentence and it worth reading and thinking about. I myself like to read it again and think it through. So there's a rule: when I write something here it doesn't mean I agree with it, it means there's something about me and that sentence, maybe I havn't made up my mind about it yet.

Choice is an illusion created between those with power and those without.

                                                               Matrix Reloaded

Soon the why and the reason are gone and all that matters is the feeling itself.

There's nothing there until you think there is. Is it right? If it is right it means there is no right or wrong. So the first sentence should obey this rule too. I mean if you think "there's nothing there until you think there is" so "there's nothing there until you think there is" but if you don't think "there's nothing there until you think there is" ....

- I'm not much of a summer-guy.
- I'm not much of a winter-guy.
- I'm not much of a guy.

OK, They didn't want us to be happy too much, damn proxies are back. Maybe it was some hardware or sofware problem. Maybe related to this Worm Blaster virus. Anyway, back to our modern islamic borders.

I don't know what's going on but, somehow I can see every site I want. Proxies are gone.

Economical Thoughts

Selling the car for about 5 million tomans. Going to the court (It's a long, old story which I'm not gonna talk about now) and let the motherfuckers do the flagellation so we can get our 2 million they're keeping there. It's 7 million already. If my father can add some money to it we can buy a land somewhere and leave it for a couple of years. If everything goes on normally that piece of land will worth about 30 million then. In the mean time, I can save some money I spend on the car like gas and mechanical stuff. It seems like a good idea & the only way we can make some easy money in this country.

When I'm kind & do some stuff for other people & give away money and free stuff to those who need it, it feels like the world is in my hands; When I'm angry and try to take everything I see and don't help anyboby & .... , it feels like the world's against me.

I'm Back
Killed the virus, I mean I reinstalled windows and all the programs. It took me forever and I'm really tired now. My eyes are tired, never thought someday I want to sleep because my eyes should rest.

I'm suffering from a damn virus, having an eye surgery and working hard so maybe for a couple of days I can't write here.

You didn't come here to make the choice, you've already made it. You're here to try to understand why you made it.

- I missed you.
- I can tell.

Why can't we have a fucking normal government? After all this time they've been keeping Al-Qaeda members, Ali Yunesi - Iran's intelligence minister said some of them will have their trials in Iran. I hope they know what they're doing.

Power

Power is when I live the life I want and provide the same opportunity for people around me, not when I act like an angry man and don't let anybody including myself feel comfortable.

Because I didn't want to lose another lovely girl over a stupid habit.

Napster's adventures.

The good thing about colorful clothes girls wear these days is, there are way more attractive girls with less slutty appearances out there.

My life goes in a circle, every round it passes meanings get more clear.

I forgot something, the scenes of people dancing in Zyone (spelling is write?) Blew my mind away. When that tribal music turned into a trance had great meaning, I thought it meant they're the same only in different centuries. I remembered Nietzsche saying "I believe in one god who dances". For those of you who find my excitement for dancing strange I should say in Iran we can't dance. I mean there are no clubs in which you can dance to your favorite music. We go to parties sometime although it's dangerous because it's illegal & places are small with weak sound systems. I would appreciate a week on Ibiza.

I saw Matrix_Reloaded finally. It was good enough. Philosophy was good, special effects were fucking great & there were many good lines in dialogues. Some of them stock to my mind and maybe I write them here sometime. That moment which love vetoed philosophy & technology was good although I'm sure many of you didn't like it. Anyway, release the next part sooner for god's sake.

I can no longer see Hossein Derakhshan's weblogs. It's too bad, we owe him a big deal.

What Goes On Around Iran

BBC has this full coverage on Iran-US relation by Roger Hardy. It's a four part article which goes through the topic deeply and step by step and clear the situation all the way. The first part looks at the debate in Washington over how to deal with the Islamic regime. The second part is about US perceptions of how durable the Iranian regime may prove to be, and what might take its place. In the third part Hardy focuses on what Americans think about the issue of Iran and terrorism. Finally, the fourth part is where we reach the conclusion.
It says: "So, what policy options might the US choose to pursue? The choices range from engagement with Iran to the aggressive pursuit of "regime change". "I think that, while we have to keep uppermost the nuclear-weapon component of our policy, at the same time we ought to try to engage Iran on some of these difficult issues," says Mr Hamilton - the former Democratic Party Congressman. Joshua Muravchik, a prominent neo-con of the right-wing think-tank, the American Enterprise Institute, thinks that the goal of regime change in Iran is at least clearly implicit in what the Bush administration is trying to do. A few of the neo-cons favour military action to remove what they see as the threat posed by Iran, for example, through strikes against its nuclear facilities. Some people believe that the neo-conservatives are not that strong anymore but if the neo-cons have been temporarily weakened, they are certainly not out of the game. They are biding their time, waiting for George W Bush to win a second term in next year's presidential elections. For now, US policy is in limbo, but sooner or later the policy-makers will need to decide whether they want to negotiate with the Iranian mullahs in order to change their behaviour, or isolate and bully them in the hope they fall from power."

Confession To Make

I'm worried & anxious. What if someday I pick up the phone and on the other side there's this guy who invites me to a meeting in national security places. I know it seems weird, I haven't done anything but you know I'm one of the 100 (did it reach that number or we're over it) English weblogs written by Iranians and I'm in Iran. Who knows what they think, maybe someday they find us a threat to their power too. OK, it doesn't mean anything, it was just a feeling I shared.

I wanna take an acid, go to an open air club with my friends, dance to some nasty progressive shit for 24 hours and live with the memory till next year that time.

I know a guy who asked a girl to marry him and he like to hear a NO answer.

A cool site full of digital pictures.

Experimental Philosophy For Fun

There are five apes in a cage. A banana is hung from the ceiling & there are some stairs to the banana. The first time the apes go for the banana, a guy sprays cold freezing water to them. They get all wet and freezing and get back to their places. After some time apes start to reach the banana again. Again the man sprays the freezing water on them and they come back to their first positions. After a long time one of the apes try to go up the stairs but the others suddenly attack him and beat the hell out of him.
After that we replace one of the apes with a new one. The new ape tries to catch the banana but all of sudden all four apes attack him and beat him to death. We continue the replacing till we got five new apes. Check it out, there are five apes in a cage, a banana hung from the top of the cage and none of the apes tries to eat it. What has happened to these apes? For those who found the philosophy here are some questions to play with.

How is the apes' situation related to humans?
Who is that guy with the cold freezing water?
Are we the apes, the cage, the banana or maybe the guy?
What is that freezing water?

Too busy too think,
Too bored to write,
Too hopeless to have hope,
Too clueless to ....

take my hand, 
hurray for the winters come...
cease my plans 
excuse me from the scenes of old 

i can meet you there? , i just don't care 
on this new years day 
with no celebration from me 

Wooooooooooooooooooooooow
I saw a live show yesterday; Avril lavigne was performing a song by Metallica. Metallica crew was in the crowd enjoying the hell out of the show, I knew this girl would make me proud.

I just love when every night in an almost exact time I turn off the fan without waking up completely. I love the feeling when you don't know what's going on but you know what to do. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... delicious.

My boss said the other day that if you want to tease someone these days you should show him/her honesty, Because it is rare and people are not use to it, they don't know how to react to it & they know they're weak against it.

I'm happy & I'm not,
I'm bored & I'm not,
I'm excited & I'm not,
I'm active & I'm not,
I'm lazy & I'm not,
I'm hopeful & I'm not, 
.......................
Maybe it's because of the dog days.

How Smart Is This

I'm understanding something from French activities. First they arrested People's Mujahedin's members just when United States was thinking about using them against Iran in a battle. Now when Iran's judiciary was arresting everybody they publish an article in Liberation newspaper which says the revolutionary prosecutor of Teheran Saeed Mortazavi killed Canadian photographer himself. Here is Google's Translation for the article. I think French authorities are making strong efforts to bring down the hardliners to ease up the situation & help solving the problems politically. It just bump into my head, I have no proves.

What we're dealing here with, is a total lack of respect for the law.

News & Stuff

Death of Iranian-Canadian photographer - Zahra Kazemi - is becoming a real problem for the government. I just saw Italian minister for equal opportunities, Stefania Prestigiacomo said: "What happened to the Canadian photographer Zahra Kazemi in Tehran is appalling, and I am very worried now. It is not tolerable that today, when civilization should have overcome barbarities, a person can be beaten to death just because it wants to do its job." Then added: "It is time for the international community to intervene with determination in countries such as Iran, to make them adopt real and concrete measures in favour of human rights." Those are strong words & very important because as far as I know Italy is head of UE now. News about Iran's government Blocking websites are still around as I found an article on Index For Free Expression which says: "In addition to banning about 80 newspapers and magazines, authorities have created a list of 'immoral' and 'political' sites that 'make fun of religious and political figures in the country'. ISPs could face court action if they do not comply." After giving information about some arrested journalists it concludes: "A total of 17 journalists are currently detained in Iran, which makes it the biggest prison for journalists in the Middle East."
As things go crazy in Iran around topics like Human Rights & Freedom Of Speech Iran postpones visit of U.N. rights official. The reason might be new journalists arrests or death of Canadian photographer although Iran's official IRNA news agency said the visit was postponed due to problems arranging Ligabo's schedule.
I can't believe this - Cuba jams Iran broadcasts. I always thought Cuba was a reliable country in the world. I don't like the channels broadcasting from the U.S. myself but they had no right to jam them, I mean come on Mr. Castro! What did you think you were doing teaming up with our government? Do you wanna die alone?
Seems to be true, Iran has Al-Qaeda's spokesman & after they tried to get rid of it by returning him back to Kuwait, their Interior minister says "his country does not want to know al-Qaeda spokesman after being stripped of his citizenship." There have been some gossips about Iran trying to make a business out of arresting Al-Qaeda's members with U.S. which haven't been proved to be right yet.
Inside Iran, reformist forces are making what some observers have described as a last-ditch effort to thwart the country's increasingly defiant conservative minority, which controls the key levers of power in the Islamic Republic. The strongly worded appeal to Khamenei, sent on July 15 and signed by 350 reform-minded intellectuals, is clearly an attempt to blunt the conservatives' political momentum. There is a really good article about it here which I stoled some sentences of. I really want to go to bed now but you may have time to see this and something I really wanna show you is a Private art exhibition held by a couple who have been in iran around the 50s. One of them said in an interview: "I've learned that a lot of times when we are in America, we think of other countries as being uneducated, but that is very wrong," she said. "Some of the most well educated people I've met were in Iran."

Finish Quitting Pot

It's the last time I write here about it because I think I'm done. It's been 20 days. Technically it should be out of my body by now, more important it's out of my head.

Once upon a time man was created
I don't know how,
then man created GOD 
because he was too weak facing all this alone.

Progressive Way Of Life

Mind is a dangerous thing we got, awareness is as dengerous. Sometimes I think how better my life would be if I didn't understand half of the things I understand now (not that I understand too much, half of what I understand now no matter how much it is). But it's just one side of it, I mean there was no meaning to it all if we had no brain in our heads. We should figure the ways our brains work. Progression is the answer I found. It means my brain should work all the time; my life should go on all the time. Every second I waste and let my mind fool around, twice that time I should spent to get it back to the game. In progression there is no speed limit, it's about going on.

A Non-Working Day

Wake up late (8:30),
take a shower,
thinking I should cut my hair,
attend an interview in Kish language institute,
buy a newspaper,
cut my hair short,
take another shower,
eat lunch,
go to the pool,
drink lots of fruit juice,
read,
surf the net,
talk to Rosita & piss her off,
count the days I didn't smoke for the 1000th times,
organize some stuff in my room,
manage a schedule for seeing the galleries,
eat dinner,
write this,
..........

I heard they have filtered Blogspot. I still can reach it with my ISP, but maybe next time I connect I can't. I'd be really sad & angry if that happens. I can't believe we're getting furthur back to basics. There's a good news though; as they moving faster in their way they're reaching the end sooner, because no one can swim against the river. I can live without blogging as long as I can listen to Radiohead & Depeche Mode & ... .

Linx
Something to find your own viruses.
If you think you're a cool person, you can give it a try.
Some famous mugshots.
Check out butts of the States &
See how crazy is this.

Once upon a time there was this great newspaper called hamshahri. they printed about half a million of it & it was sold out by noon. Some of the greatest journalists worked there and they had a 8-page additional issue which was even better than the newspaper itself. They all are gone now & the newspaper is turning to bullshit. I won't buy hamshahri anymore & I must say the hell with this country that we have nothing we like in it.

Son: Dad! Why do you keep telling people that you have AIDS?
Dad: Because this way no one would dare to fuck your mother if I died.

Analysis

Here comes the most anticipated day of the year so far. I don't think it will go anywhere. There are maybe some small street fights but nothing important. Universities are closed, Parliament members asked students not to do anything on this day, which means they're afraid for people's lives. Students wrote a letter to head of UN and asked for help. Their leaders have been arrested (kidnapped) after a news conference. Head of Mosharekat party sent a letter to president Khatami & said there are some activities going on in prisons to make students and other reformist prisoners confess against members of his party. United States sending positive signals to the government and I heard some of the opposition TVs broadcasting from US & England went off.
I think the US government is playing a game with Iran; they ease up on Iran just when every country is forcing Iran about nuclear activities & human rights. It will make Iran's leaders accept their demands easier & after Iran accepted something they going to get hard again to move another step. By the way they realized they don't have any alternatives in Iran. so they have to show a little tenderness to solve some problems.
I wish this happens: Iran hardliners arrest some of reformists so in a couple of month a group of reformists become the opposition. University students have done that already. They will be the best, people will like them, they know what is going on in Iran & they can work with the world especially United States. By end of the year, when it's gonna be parliament election and no one is going to attend this opposition can work with axes of power in Iran to compete hardliners and may do something. Here is something very important; I don't think we can make it through democracy without people like Rafsanjani. Because they are way more powerful than we think. They have all the money and industries & the good thing is they are ready for a deal.

For those who don't know (That may contain about 90% of you Iranian readers & 95% of non-Iranian readers) Iran's art scene is full of talented people and they increase everyday. I, Ali, Reza & Ghazal has decided to attend as many art galleries as we can this summer. We did it & I must say it worth the time we spend. There are many great works in every area such as Painting, Drawing, Photography, decorating & ... . I'm thinking about a way to show them here or anywhere, first I should search for internet databases of Tehran art galleries (If there are any) then I know what is best to do.

Back to work after about 20 days. I study civil & I work as an assistant engineer in a building. It's a great job, I love it. It's full of action scenes. I like people I work with a lot, They're smart, professional & friendly. Actually my own boss has become the one person I can talk with about anything and learn something.
He's going on a trip in 10 days for some 20 days & I'll be in charge in that time. It's gonna be a big responsibility & a great chance, I'm so excited.

There's no reason why I put those two white lines there, I just wanted to see how it looks.

---

Check this out.

---

My exams are over. I fucked them up, most of'em, at least half of them. It's for the 1000th time that I realized these courses should be studied within the term. Anyway, I learn more HTML now & I hope to design a template of my own soon.

As years go by
All the feelings inside
Twist and they turn
As they ride with the tide
I don't advise
And I don't criticise
I just know what I like
With my own eyes
                         Depeche mode

About Quit Smoking Pot

OK, here comes the end of the eleventh day of my quit smoking pot program. It went really well. I was going to write about it on its 15th day, but something important just came up to my mind. As I got on with my program (That means I hung out with lots of non-smoker friends, I called many others to see how they're doing and if we could do something together, I bought a Badminton Racket, I played badminton & manage to do it on a regular basis, I told my smoker friends not to hand over pot to me when we're together & they listened) I figured I should not talk about drugs with these new people I go out with. Because it's an interesting topic and they know I have information they would wanna talk about it. I found it important no to do it.
Since this weblog works as kind of a record keeper for me, I thought I should not wait until the 15th day.

There’s something I should say. The political situation of Iran is so hopeless & everytime I want to write about it I just don’t feel like it. The worst thing is I can write about what goes on around Iran but I can’t write about what goes on in Iran. It’s obviously because I can see no hope in the country but in the mean time I look outside for help. We’re in deep shit. Who would want foreigners to interfere in his country, we should think of some solutions.

Music is the emotion, the rhythm and the groove not the instrument or the lyrics.

Test your internet connection speed here.

I have an annoying problem with Blogger and it's getting on my nerves.

Peace Means Reloading Your Guns.

Twisted Thoughts

When the muse is gone and it's like there have never been a poet .....
Wait a second, Didn't the poet write this one too? So the poet is still here. What happened to the muse? Does every poet need a muse? Doesn't it mean the muse still is in the poet's mind? Maybe the poet is the muse.

Here is the website for Behrooz Afkhami's new Movie - Gavkhooni. He is a special man in Iran's filmmaking arena. They say if nothing unexpected happens it will be in theatres in early fall.

Check this out. Really cool.

What Goes On Around Iran

Ok, When they can't attack (is that right?) Iran They control the government economically. It's the best way and if they do it seriously they get anything in a short time. Iran has nothing but oil, every industrial power we had broke down because of stupid governmental management over the past two decades. If Americans can delay new deals with Iran, It's going to be tough. They have started it with Japan. "Japan is eyeing an oil deal with Iran that could strain ties with the United States, which is trying to isolate Tehran for allegedly sponsoring terrorism" I found in Star On Line. There is another thing about Iran's relations to India on Kansascity.com. It says: "The United States should be wary of the strengthening ties between the troublesome regime in Iran and India, a nuclear power whose government sometimes behaves in irresponsible fashion."
In middle of a two-day visit to Iran Jack Straw - Britain Foreign Minister - Declared that "he would urge Iranian President Mohammad Khatami later Monday to allow more intrusive inspections of Iran's nuclear facilities by the U.N.'s International Atomic Energy Agency", he said "No one should ever compare Iran with Iraq in terms of their political systems or their danger", then he added "if Iran fails to do so, they will not be able to make progress on other issues" including a planned trade agreement between Iran and the European Union.
As far as I know Iran has resisted UK pressure to open up its nuclear sites to tougher inspections, saying it would expect "positive steps" in return. But Hassan Rohani, secretary-general of the Supreme National Security Council, told visiting British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw that Iran would invite ElBaradei for "talks to remove technical problems," the official IRNA news agency reported. "He has received the invitation and intends to respond positively," IAEA spokeswoman Melissa Fleming told Reuters.
After all these political activities it's good to see what "THE HAWKS" want: The United States must be willing to destroy a range of Iranian facilities to ensure the elimination of Iran's nuclear weapons program, A report by the Washington Institute for Near East Policy asserts.

It’s like there is no one who chooses the right thing before getting fucked up a couple of times.
It means we first come strong.
Then we break.
Then we break.
Then we break.
Then we become a weak fucked up person who is finally accepting.
Then it’s the time you face people who hasn’t been broken yet. They push you away and you see what’s happening but there’s nothing you can do, because they have to experience it themselves.
Maybe we shouldn’t worry, cause there’s nothing that time can not heal.

I might kill someone these days, STAY AWAY.

Let’s talk about “St. Anger”. I first was so excited about hearing a thrash metal album played by metallica, I still am. But maybe it’s better to first see it without considering it a metallica material.
Vocal is bad. Sometimes it gets annoying. Especially when he is turning from his hard voice to his soft voice, something bad happens in between.
Lyrics are good. As it’s clear they’re angry. There are brilliant lines everywhere & the important thing is it gets along well with the music.
Music is in the middle. Many of the rhythms seems like they have been played before. Maybe they listened to too much "system of a dawn". There no melodies, I have no problem with that. You wanna know the truth, I don’t know what’s wrong with it, I like it when I listen but there is no will to listen again. Maybe this style just doesn’t tolerate many over 4-minutes songs.
I think it will take another album for them to find a unique acceptable style after all these years of bullshit like “load” & “reload”. After all there are 3-4 songs I really liked. I like the feeling in lyrics that they’re not proud what of wasted years. I like the feeling they want to be back.
Anyway, It’s a good return.

You should give your mind something to play with, or it will make up crazy games you'll die playing.

If the anger helps you, then be angry.

Anything concerns people, NGOs & especially youth of Iran is full of hope, innovation & new thoughts. Here's something new, Mashregh: A Community Weblog For Persians In English. They gather all the news links about Iran they find useful. Congratulations on your new site folks.

Let chaos entwine on defenseless soil

Here is something nice, the first Professional ISP & Internet-Based Phone Festival. The website is in persian & those of you who doesn't know persian may find it not useful, sorry about that. Anyway, it shows the progress weby stuff made in the last couple of years in Iran.

Quit Smoking Pot

Target: not smoking pot anymore
Plan: I stay home more than I did these last months, maybe last couple of years.
I make a list of my friends who doesn't smoke and I manage to hang out with them more.
I want my close friends (which I hang out with a lot) not to hand me pot when they're smoking and consider me as a non-smoker.
I do not drink instead of smoking until the time I know it's not instead.
I do a sport this summer; I work out at home everyday.
I drink a lot of water.
It began June 25 2003 as I woke up.

There is an original CD of Metallica's new album in my CD player & there's great news for all you metal fans, it's good. I'll write later about it cause I heard it only once.

Studying and listening to Radiohead's albums.

I Will come up with a post about What goes on in Iran soon. These two titles seems nice to be permanent titles for such posts.

What goes on around Iran

Ok, politics again. Iran is in headlines these days, no doubt about that. I have never seen this much articles in U.S. state newspapers about Iran. It’s like each one of them has something to say about us.
It was the same way Iraq war occurred, first it was in the newspapers, but politicians denied everything, then, step by step U.S. officials start to say the same things. It was exactly when the public heard enough of it so people wouldn’t freak out hearing them from the president. This is how things work in 2003 and everyone should gain their own interests through the media, and at the end I believe people won’t pick something wrong. So if anyone has anything to say should say it now.
By the way, senator Brownback pushes change for Iran “Using the same philosophy that drove the war in Iraq” said Alan Bjerga in an article at Kansas.com.
In the mean time secretary of state – Colin Powell – is doing the same thing I described above. He said: "We are against Iranian support of terrorist activities, against [a] nuclear weapons development program. We hope that the Iranians will not play an unhelpful role in our reconstruction efforts in Iraq." And then he said: "But for some to go beyond that and say the United States is getting ready for something aggressive or looking for another place to have a conflict, it is absolutely wrong." There's another article agrees that U.S. officials are doing the same thing they did with Iraq.
I found an article at Sify.com based in India which looks at the situation from opposite view. It agrees that revolution in Iran went the wrong way, but it also says that we – Iranian – owe it to ourselves and it’s our problem, we should get over it. It warns Bush: “Bush must have realized by now that conquering Iraq may have been a least difficult of problems but how does he conquers the hearts & minds of a people.”
People's Mujahedeen's situation is steel not clear. France goverment has released many of them but some are still in jail. there some sayings about returning them to Iran but seems untrue. They are doing anything they can to avoid any further harm.
And the most important issue about Iran is our nuclear power. Russian President Vladimir Putin said his country would condition its nuclear cooperation with Iran on Tehran's openness to the U.N. nuclear watchdog agency. He pointed to an unofficial deal and said: "Moscow would insist that the new Iraqi authorities allow some of Russia's major investment projects to go forward." Iran has not accept new not-arranged visits yet but with this much pressure from around the world, they will.
At the end here is one thing Iran did to ease the situation in the past couple of days - and I must say it worths nothing. they declare that Iran has identified some of Al-qaeda members that were arrested in Iran.

You’re back to your shelter, shelter is cozy and warm & it’s secure. You remind me that I once had a shelter. It’s full of concentration, power, and beautiful thoughts and …. . But now when I’m there, something is missing. Now that I know someone like you exists.
I’m watching you from my shelter. I watch you loving who you are and becoming who you love, but I can’t let you go, because I’m the poet and you’re my muse.

I'm tired of spoons & forks, I wanna eat with my hands.

There is something weird about bloging and feeling bad about some of the posts. because every post shows a feeling that belongs to a specific period of time.
It's a good way of reviewing personal feelings.
Some of them I just want to delete, but then I think they'd better be there & so I can know myself better.

To My Own Attention

I should say it now that this is a preparation. I mean this site, because I have my university final exams now & I can’t keep up with the news and all the other stuff in my head. So I’m experiencing everything that comes to my mind, new forms of writing, new links & I’m working on how to use HTML cause I’m weak at that.

What's The Fucking Matter?

I’m surrounded with people who love me so much and I love them as well. But every time I happen to love a girl as a girlfriend it just doesn’t work.

The other night (Sunday night) protests in Tehran were less than before and traffic was not as heavy as before. Friday night militia forces attacked demonstrators with knives and chains and beat them really bad. It was like they were told to be more serious, as they attack some dormitories a couple of hours later that night. Yesterday an influential group of Iranian dissidents issued an unprecedented declaration defending the right to criticize their leaders. Various people with different ideas have signed the declaration and that’s the important point about the letter. Let’s take a look at foreign newspapers articles about Iran. There are some new accusations like Iran recruits Saddam's scientists to build long-range missile from Daily Telegraph and N Korea exports missiles to Iran by air from Japan Today. " The Public Security Bureau of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department has arrested the president, senior executives and employees of a machinery manufacturer on suspicion of illegally exporting to Iran machinery with military potential. " been said on asahi.com . As we're getting closer to Monday's meeting of the board of governors of the International Atomic Energy Agency there are more news about Iran's atomic situation. There is an article in MSNBC which represent a useful point of view. it says "experts are questioning whether it's really possible to stop countries — let alone terrorists — from acquiring such weapons. " and "If the nonproliferation regime cannot solve this problem with Iran, I think the nonproliferation treaty will become not irrelevant, but a place where the good guys show that they are good guys — not a real treaty that can be used to resolve tensions.'' There is an article about "Mojahedine Khlagh", A terorrist group based in Iraq which now they are under supervision of U.S. forces in Iraq.

What’s going on in the streets of Tehran
So, for the fourth night in some regions of Tehran, demonstrations & street fights took place. I didn’t go to such places like “amirabad”, “velenjak” & “Kargar Street” because of lots of reasons I’ll talk about later. But there is some accurate information and might be interesting: I know one person who was injured at the first night, he was hit in the head, and his skull is cracked. First they took him to one of Sepah’s hospitals, but because of his dangerous situation they let him out to another hospital after his parents gave them a house ownership. I talked to some people who were hit by the “electric sticks” (I don’t know if this is the right name for it) and they said it hurts really really bad and can push a man 2-3 meters away. Friday night I went out with some of my friend and there were obviously too many ambulances in the street with their lights on & they should have been carrying injured people. I was in “Mohseni Square” around 23 P.M. and there were some militia forces around the square but no crowd. My mother went to “gisha Street” Friday night, she said the traffic was so heavy and police forces avoided people from going on the bridge that goes to “amirabad” & under the bridge as they were waiting in the traffic they saw some really bad scenes of special forces attacking people and beat them to death so she called me crying and begged to come home. I personally know a thirty year old man who was arrested in the first night and hasn’t been released yet; he called home the first day and could talk less than a minute to say he is arrested but no more details. Everyone is ready to go out and do something, I mean there is no one happy with the government but it takes time for each individual to have his or her own reasons to go, I talk about it in my future posts.

Vow I swear I'm going to do anything necessary to bring my girlfriend back, I know it takes a lot of love, policy, patience, brain and concentration.

You got to stick to what you know is right, or you gonna pay hard.

It's over.

The world always gives us exactly what we need.

Iran Vs. U.S. Situation So let me put my thoughts about Iran-U.S. situation together. Pentagon Crew – Hawks – want to solve everything the hard way, but the foreign minister – Collin Powel – has the job to find political solutions for every problem. They all want to do the best thing for their country, something nice & easy. Their priority is Iraq & Iran’s nuclear program & middle-east peace process. They want Iran not to interfere with what’s going on in Iraq. They want Iran not to interfere with the peace process & they want Hezbollah to be a political party. As we all know Hezbollah is under Iran’s full control. They want to make sure Iran can’t make a nuclear bomb. A way to do all these things is to attack Iran & replace the government with something new and more logic. They can’t do that now. They don’t have enough reasons. But I think they’ll have the reasons in a year or so. They can have good reasons about human rights and Iran’s nuclear program. An important thing is an alternative for the government. Shah’s son is not a perfect leader and Americans know that. They should wait until good alternatives appear, maybe from Iran’s reformists. With all these difficulties Americans look for their targets in another way. They‘re shaking Iran’s hand with one hand & push Iran with the other. They tell us what they want in meetings and they warn us in press conferences. They take what they want step by step here and they continue their programs about changing the government somewhere else. These two ways meet each other. That’s when they want something from Iran, the government can’t say yes (something like dissolving “Sepah Pasdaran”) and they’re ready to attack Iran. By then the U.N.’s report about human rights in Iran is ready. By then the report about Iran’s nuclear programs is ready. By then Iran’s case about an explosion in Argentina is ready. By then document’s about Iran’s interfere in Zahran’s Explosions may be ready. By then an Iraqi government take the power in Iraq Hawks will be ready for the next target. I wonder where are we in this story.

Giving myself a last chance is a risk I should take now Today is an important day in the history of my life. It's a beginning of a program. I'm thinking about giving it a name. It's about me having a very powerful will to do my Uni-Stuff in time. I have been failed lots of times; I give myself this last chance. I need this last chance. It's based on me only. I don't count on anybody about this. I need to get my shit together. I have a target, I have the will, and I'm a good organizer …. I can do this.

When a Negative Layout Effects My Positive Base I like myself when I’m in love. I surprise myself when I’m in love. Some say you have never been in love, maybe I get surprised easily.

Smells Like Blood For Freedom So, it seems like reaching the end. After losing all the opportunities, after killing every small bit of hope, after all these years of trying to do the impossible, some big guy is going to do it for us. From now on we’re going to watch Americans push it harder. The government will listen to what they say and what they want every time too late to make it a chance. Americans say they don’t want to attack Iran & they’re counting on Iran’s people. Once again …. We’re going to die for freedom, We’re going to think if we should do it or not, We’re going to kill each other for freedom, We’re going to take the revenge, We’re going to wonder who to choose, We're going to hear them say it won't work, We're going to believe it won't work, ……… Maybe it’s our way of freedom. Let’s make it to the end.

What I gain in unconscious I can’t keep in conscience. I can only see it exists, it’s like I can’t reach it. What if conscience & unconscious become one?

Hi This is my first post here. I had a weblog but since "blogsky" server is down I thought maybe it would be a good idea to create the same thing here. Blogsky was easier and more friendly but as I wanted to write somewhere I'm gonna deal with "html" and finally create something on my own. You will see it sooner than you think.